...so i touched it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
