i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
