I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
