Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
