i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
