I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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