as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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