I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
