pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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