whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
