i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
