Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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