Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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