So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
