I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
