Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
