so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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