oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
