We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
