that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
