You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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