i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
