I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
