she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bring money and cleavage
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
