that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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