he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
