yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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