you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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