garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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