Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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