This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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