Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
