he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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