i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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