i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
