he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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