Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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