The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
