oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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