Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
