are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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