you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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