and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
