uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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