In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
