my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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