4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
