its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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