I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want her autograph on my taint
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize