He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
