she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize