I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Semen is not good for contacts.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
