shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
