This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
