yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
