i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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